From The Georgetown Times

Well, it was bound to happen at some point. God is being sued. I don't know where one would serve the papers, but sure enough an Iowa state senator is suing God.According to KETV of Omaha, State Sen. Ernie Chambers is the person suing God. He said on Monday that it is to prove a point about frivolous lawsuits maintaining senators periodically have offered bills prohibiting the filing of certain types of suits. He said his main objection is that the constitution requires that the doors to the courthouse be open to all, thus anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody even God.The lawsuit was filed last Friday in Douglas County Court and seeks a permanent injunction ordering God to cease certain harmful activities and the making of terroristic treats.

"The lawsuit admits God goes by all sorts of alias, names, titles and designations and it also recognizes the fact that the defendant is omnipresent. In the lawsuit, Chambers said he's tried to contact God numerous times.

"Plaintiff, despite reasonable efforts to effectuate personal service upon defendant 'Come out, come out, wherever you are,' has been unable to do so,' " Chambers said.The suit also requests that the court, given the peculiar circumstances of the case, waive personal service. It said that being omniscient, the plaintiff assumes God will have actual knowledge of the action.

That may be the case (pun intended), but surely God, like Queen Elizabeth I, is not amused. I don't know about you, but one of my four rules in life includes never deliberately poking a bear in the eye with a stick. Things are hard enough, and judging from the way things are going, they may get a bit tougher.

The item continues, "The lawsuit accuses God 'of making and continuing to make terroristic threats of grave harm to innumerable persons, including constituents of Plaintiff who Plaintiff has the duty to represent.'"It says God has caused 'fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects and the like.'

"The suit also says God has caused 'calamitous catastrophes resulting in the wide-spread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants including innocent babes, infants, children, the aged and infirm without mercy or distinction.'

"Chambers also says God 'has manifested neither compassion nor remorse, proclaiming that defendant will laugh' when calamity comes."Chambers asks for the court to grant him a summary judgment. He said as an alternative, he wants the judge to set a date for a hearing as expeditiously as possible and enter a permanent injunction enjoining God from engaging in the types of deleterious actions and the making of terroristic threats described in the lawsuit.Whew! Looks like things will be better from here on out.

I wonder, however, how easy Senator Chambers thinks it will be to enforce the court ruling. I mean we can't catch Osama bin-Laden in all of his sartorial splendor. One might imagine it might be a bit tougher to find God what with the universe being so large and eternal.

On the other hand, one can catch glimpses of God everywhere you look - be it in the smile and laughter of a child or the low humidity around these parts right about now.Still, I served subpoenas in college, and once nearly got shot for my troubles. The filing was to take everything this guy owned. He lived in Goose Creek at a time when it was still pretty rough and tumble, and the sound of the shots echoed way down the dirt road as I high-tailed it out of there.I would imagine God's wrath would be much more intense. I mean this guy was shooting at me because his living room furniture was being repossessed. I would imagine that of all of the concerns God might have, a Barco-lounger would be way down on the list.

Stay tuned. I can foresee two actions that might occur as a result of this lawsuit. Iowa will be utterly destroyed by tornadoes, locusts and the like, or Dennis Kucinich will be elected president. Either would have long-lasting devastating results.